And I’m really scared to admit it… online.
Today’s post is about my current situation. This post isn’t for attention but to make sure people are aware that what may look like a perfect life may not be. I know a lot of you won’t read this but I’ve been feeling a little overwhelmed and scared for the past couple of days all because of a conversation I had with a friend. And it’s made me realise that the future is going to happen and I need to prepare myself – savings and all!
My first trip was three years ago and since then I have had the itch to see as much of the world as I possibly can. I like to live by the saying “Once a year, go some place you’ve never been before” – Dalai Lama and since 2012 I have done exactly that. The thing is now, is that I have absolutely no savings behind me whatsoever for my future.
I’m not going to say I regret going on those holidays because those holidays have been the best thing I have done with my life to date. They have made me who I am today. And has made me keen to see more of the world, an explorer, a doer, seen stunning places, made some lifelong friends and I’ve gained a little more self confidence in myself.
But I will say this; I regret not saving for my future back when I first started working. I looked at money as if it was pocket money you got from your parents once a week and I could use it how I wanted too. Mind you I did start paying board to my then single mother in my teen years but I spent the rest of it on so many dinners, nights out, DVDs, CDs, clothing you name it. My friends and family have told me to my face that I save well, but in actual fact I don’t. For the past couple of years I save for a holiday and then I spend it. Leaving me with a small amount left in my account to come back too if not any.
My passion for travelling will not stop (I still have plenty of countries to see) but for the next eighteen months I will be doing my best to save as much as I can (My current goal is to do Europe in 2017 with or without someone). None of us know what our future will hold and when our lives will end and I guess that is what is making me feel nervous and scared at the same time. I guess that’s why I have wanted to travel more because I don’t want my life to be a “boring” one. You see, I’m about to turn 27. I moved back with my parents, I have no savings, I have never been in a steady relationship before and all my friends and family seem to be building a life for themselves and it feels like I’m just in the background struggling.
People say that 27 is still young and even though it is, it also isn’t. Time is ticking by so fast.
I know not every life is the same, but most people have expectations about how their life will turn out. People have plans and I certainly didn’t. I’ve thought about moving overseas, moving to a different state within Australia, travel for a long period of time or going back to study (not sure what I’d study though). Just to make my life that little bit more exciting. Plenty of options to choose from.
For years I’ve had dreams and thoughts of moving overseas but have never gain the courage to just go. I’m not sure how I’d go being so far away from my family/friends and how I’d cope if things went wrong. At the moment I’m pretty comfortable with my life; my job and living back with my parents that I’ve sort of lost the excitement within myself. Now I know that life is what you make it and I should do what makes me happy but I’m a little scared to take that leap. I know there are a lot of people out there who aren’t happy with their lives and I’m not saying that I’m the only one feeling that way, I just felt like I had to express my feelings to the digital world instead of keeping it bottled up inside.
I just have to remind myself that not every life is perfect on the inside when it looks like it on the outside and that life is unpredictable.
Photos are all from Pinterest